The Bus Chronicles : Captain's Log

Captain's Log

August 26, 2005

11:13a: And so the journey begins; Drew and I are
leaving Caribou enroute to Purdue, Ball State, and
ValPo. Hmm.so I guess Drew isn't supposed to be
going. Fuck it man, we're free. Let's hit the Open
Road T.
Music: George Thorogood : Bad to the Bone

11:32: Drew and I came to the conclusion that
everyone else with all their cell phones and jobs and
places to be are way way lame. We rule so much, with
our free-ness. Hell yes! Haha, we totally found a
wireless network (open) driving down 41.this rules.
Music: George Thorogood : One bourbon, one scotch, one
beer.

11:50: We spotted a friendly! A silver Westy; they
totally waved. Ah, VW brethren.
Music: Grateful Dead : Sugar Magnolia

12:06p: We hit traffic.somehow.and it sucks. So we
grab a bottle and a girl who's just 14, and have a
damn good case of the Mexicali Blues.

12:30: Still stuck in the city. We hate people.
Except our Guard Chickas.

1:10: We've finally sailed our way out of that lame
traffic, and are well into Indiana. We decided that
we're taking a different route home because 94 is a
super mega dose of super suck. What a shitty highway.
Music: Grateful Dead : Box of Rain

1:27: OMG WE JUST SAW THE BIGGEST SPIDER WEB, EVER!!!
No joke, this thing was probably 10 feet or more in
diameter in these tree branches. Oh my god it was
amazing. Too bad spiders are the major suck.

1:38: 8 miles to ValPo! Except we're not stopping
there first. We gotta rig up the sails and head
towards Ball State to see K_Saladness.

2:31: Stopped to fuel up on iced cream and mountain
dew, the sustenance of pirates and lumberjacks, Back
on the high seas shortly.

3:01: We're going to be on this lame highway (31S)
for 63 miles. It's going to suck. At least we have
cookies, and mountan dew with which to entertain
ourselves.

3:07: ..so I totally just MOO'ed at a bunch of cows
hanging out under a tree. It's offical now, we're in
the middle of nowhere. How can there be so much
nothing-ness in one place?

4:11: We're still in the middle of nowhere. We
attempted to send a smoke signal out to Meggers but
the prevailing winds were too strong and all attempts
at communication failed. 45 miles to Muncie, and then
we must navigate towards Ball State. Goodbye for now,
oh sweet Captain's Log of mine. We shall catch up in
a short while.

4:45: Dude, the most amazing thing ever. Drew and I
saw a 1974 Yellow VW Beetle at this car lot so we
stopped and looked. Overall, it was decent.
Definitely a rider, a ship of pirates to be sure. I
said I'd buy it if it was $1000, but the guy said he
wanted $1700. How cool would that have been? Go to
see college homies and bring back a Beetle. But,
alas, it was not meant to be.

5:11: This mega awesome horse totally looked at me
when I made horse noises at him, It was great, Drew
and I just finished planning our next Magellan-esque
voyage. We've decided to travel to Baja, California,
then continue down through Mexico and end up
in.,..HONDURAS!!! How amazing would that be? We
would officially rule over everything in the Universe.
There would be noone cooler. It wouldn't be possible
to be cooler. Oh, the stories we'd have. We'll need
one hell of a ship for such a voyage out into the
great unknown. I know! We'll commission the Black
Pearl! And by commission I mean take over. And by
take over I really mean plunder, in the custom that
pirates and lumberjacks have done for generations.

5:45: We have arrived, and parked. It was
complicated finding that dock.and Kristen isn't
answering her phone but it's all good. We're just
going to go be awesome until she calls us. Over and
out.

6:30: We got in touch with Kristen, turns out she's at
a mall with some friends. She'll be back in town in a
couple minutes. So we've decided to chill at this
here parking structure. What a long strange trip its
been, and its just beginning.

6:33: "It's not the size of the mast that matters,
it's how big the boom is"
-Gavin Jones

10:15: We just left The Sallis's room at BSU and are
soon to be enroute to Purdue to see Megs and Rezzy.
College is AWESOME. The ratio of hot chicks to ugly
chicks is amazing. Everywhere you look, hot girl.
Evanston, one of the girls in Sallis's hall that she
introduced us to, is way hot and seems pretty cool.
All the people there made fun of us for the way we
pronounced Gurnee, but since we were the only three
that are actually from there, I think we would know
the proper way to pronounce it. Anyway.so there was a
girl with one of those white boards on her door that
said "VERY SINGLE" with very underlined like 12 times.
I really wanted to meet her but for some reason
Kristen said we couldn't. Lame. BSU is a pretty neat
campus. Large, but neat. We played some game where
you said whether or not you have done something sexual
and if you did you had to put a finger down. Somehow,
I finished 4th.which is odd because I'm way not hot
and don't get any ass. At all. Oh well, they
probably think I sleep with anything that moves. Umm
so yea.I think we're going to trim up the sails and
head seaward. Adios.

11:07: Drew's insane.he just had the bus to 90. With
another 500RPM left. Who wants it?!
12:30: We finally know where the fuck we are. Yahoo
sucks ass. Whoever invented these roads sucks ass.
These roads suck ass. We so went the wrong direction
like 3 times and now we're figuring our own route with
the map which so far is working much much better.
Next road trip, map only. We're about 30 minutes
behind schedule, with 40 miles to go at 66MPH.
Grrrr...

12:40: Got on 25S and we're about 34 miles out now
after some lame shit. Hopefully by 1 AM.Then we just
have to find the dorm,. Another large adventure, I'll
speculate. ::sigh::

12:54: We just flashed a cop.because he had his
brights on. No matter, he can't catch us now. Magic
Bus, up up and AWAY!!!

1:07: The reason that we rule so much is that
everyone talks about doing what we do, but we actually
do it. We kick so much ass, it should be illegal.
No, seriously. The amount of ass we kick is just
incredible. Think about it this way: most people
don't even whip little fly ass. We totally fucked up
Jack and his weak ass bean stalk, too. So much for
magic beans; a little hatchet action fix that up quick
fast in a hurry. Jack..haha..what a big pussy.

Jack and his weak bean stalk : 0
Drew and Gavin with hatchets : 1

We rule at life.

1:23: We are at the Marathon right outside of Purdue,
we needed to expel some urine.

7:46: Left Megs and Sara, had some sleep on the
futon. Megs roommate is really really fine. Back on
the road, done chillin.

8:33: "FUCK YOU PUSSY RIVER!!" (Wabash River, way
ghey)

9:02: The most crazy thing ever. We stopped at the
same gas station we were at last time with the super
slow pumps where we bought the Rock Stars and played
guitar on top of the bus. And, the same blonde chick
was working. How crazy is that? We actually know
where we are now, too..which is in contrast to the
rest of trip.

10:26: Holy shit, we totally turned off the highway
because I spotted 6 Westy's, a 944, 928, Herbie Bug
and a SWEET Triumph at this little auto-repair shop.
One of the Westy's was a camper and for sale, so I am
going to call the guy later.

10:55: The coolest shit, ever. A bunch of super hot
cheerleader chicks in shorts and tiny shirts just hand
washed the Bus AND they all signed the roof. Oh my
god, they were so hot.fuckin amazing;. Our mission is
complete. Omg omg...

12:55: We're in the parking lot talking to Old N Slow
and Macky..ValPo rocks. Macky has a hot room mate,
too:-D. Heh.Mack's bed is awesome, it turns into a
couch. Major lumberjack points. Ummm..we're setting
sail so we're not late.Peace

2:36: The shitty-ness of this situation cannot be
overstated. Totally weak.

3:55: We're home now. Thank god.on our way to
caribou for liquid goodness.